Many people spend their lives waiting for the perfect person. We’re raised to aspire to marriage in order to facilitate the fundamental human need for companionship. As is exhibited over and over in movies, and real life, the human psyche needs a companion with which to share its thoughts, emotions, and life for fulfillment. When we don’t have a human cohort, a pet will do; and when that is absent, we make one up in our head. The fundamental need for a partner drives people of MANY races, cultures, creeds and socioeconomic backgrounds.
Marriage or dedicated partnership is more than just deciding you want to spend the rest of your time with a person, it’s also an emotional commitment. If a person isn’t ready to make the personal commitment to another individual then that person simply isn’t ready. It matters not how much they SAY they want a long term relationship, because actions speak louder than words. If a person is simply not willing to give up a life of parties, dancing, bars, and hook-ups the probability their relationship will fail is high. Yes, there are footloose and fancy-free couples who invite others into their bedrooms/relationships, but in most cases, both parties participate and are in agreement with what is, and is NOT acceptable behavior.
Every relationship is different, yes, and every relationship has its unique issues, but the issues of infidelity and trust seems to be the destroyer of more relationships than it creates. These two issues aside temporarily, one must decide before committing to a long term relationship if they can handle or “deal” with questions of psychosis, baggage, and family. Some people have underlying fears, phobias, or aversions that don’t surface within the dating process. Certain individuals have families who’ve disowned them for whatever reason, and may others have biological chemical imbalances that result in psychological conditions such as bipolarism. The big question when looking at the relationship/person is, “can I handle this?(and for how long)”. Am I willing to love you as you are, imperfect, and support you in any way I can for the rest of my life(or yours)? Am I willing to deal with your “crazy-ass” family and friends? These questions need to be seriously answered before committing to an everlasting companionship… THIS is what makes us stronger as a person, and as a couple.
Not everyone will agree 100% of the time and let me tell you I’ve had my share of knock down drag outs with my better half, but I call them my better half for a reason. They make me a better person. I’ve had to swallow my pride on more than one occasion, and I’ve had to apologize for my mistakes. Situations where I am forced to be humbled make me a better person and make me more aware of my impact on others. Had I stormed off after the first big fight and decided “this is too much work.” I would have not made it 8 years with a wonderful person. My father says it’s not the big things that will destroy you(the couple), it’s the little things.
True love is born of passion and strengthened through turmoil. Serious relationships are not to be taken lightly and when you have your first big fight, don’t dismiss it as “they’re wrong, I’m right;” Take it as an opportunity to say, where am I missing something, or where was I not clear? It takes two to tango, and not everyone is right all the time, even me. Take time to talk to one another and express no only your feelings, but your words as well. I’ve been searching all my life… for a person just like you.
