So I’ve spent this past weekend in San Francisco over the pride weekend. I proudly wore a rainbow GOP elephant shirt and my Husbear of 8 years accompanied me. Looks of horror were thrown in our direction from other visitors and while entertaining for me, I’m sure I was a nightmare for them. However, one young woman came up to us, shook our hands and professed her adoration and support for us.
It wasn’t difficult to hear ensuing conversations that spawned as people passed by because some voiced their displeasure as loud as they could. At one point an oncoming vehicle’s passenger hung out the window, middle finger raised in the air as they drove past. I’m not a paranoid person nor do I feel that someone would willfully behave in such a fashion, but, I have been proven wrong(it happens more often than I like). Either way, I personally feel that if my presence spurred a discussion, be it one of vitriol or confusion, it proves a point.
Like the fabled snow leopard we are a rare breed and seldom venture beyond our own territory. This weekend I’m planning on staying in my home range and attending our paltry local pride event, shirt proudly displayed again; but I digress. Most of the comments within decibel range were “Oh my God”, “Did you see?”, “Fucking traitors”, and “Are you kidding me?”, and I just smiled as I passed them, their look plastered on their faces like statues created by the fabled Medusa, unchanging and frozen. I was overly polite and cheerful and gave other attendees zero reason to find my behaviour offensive or out of line. Maybe this was me protecting my good name, but if I’m to represent a specific group(be it with my attire), my actions should be a reflection, and the last thing I want is to behave in a manner that would allow people to cast prejudice on an entire group due to the actions of one.
Whether horrified or secretly supportive, the ensuing discussion I feel is more important than the initial shock. Should the discussion turn to vitriol and regurgitated hate espoused at me beyond earshot, that’s perfectly acceptable in my book. The intolerant individual who is almost quite literally frothing at the mouth like a rabid animal spewing hate is doing his own cause an injustice because for a person who denounces intolerance against gays is doing the same to their “own people”(a concept for a different blog). Maybe I’m giving myself too much credit or self importance, but I’d like to think that the conversation lasted beyond the tirade and possibly affected other passers by(or even those in their own peer group). Imagine passing by and listening to a fellow “gay” or “gay friendly” spew ire at someone for an article of clothing and an idea when we’re all supposed to be proud of who we are. While there may be feeling of agreement from some, what happens when the passer-by is NOT in agreeance with the verbal diarrhea? That support quickly erodes and empathy arises (not that I’m doing it for the empathy) and they see in fact the person’s true character.
In psychology there is a school of thought that feels a person’s issues or problems can be solved by becoming the medium by which they see themselves. In effect, the therapist repeats the person’s statements and allows them to draw their own conclusions. I’d like to think that this weekend was SF’s own therapy session and I was their mirror(too much?). The minor support I saw and received made the entire trip worth it, because an approving glance or quiet uncomfortability while a friend expresses extreme dislike at me told others that “you’re not alone”. There are others out there like you and me and we don’t need to march lock step with the masses, nor do we need to hide who we are. We are proud and we are strong. We are fierce and we are fire. If I’ve empowered one person this weekend with my shirt, then I feel the entire experience was worth it.
